Grieving & Guns

I typed up a post this morning about what’s been going on in my world in the last week and why I haven’t really blogged anything since last Saturday, but I decided I didn’t like it and I’m still not even sure what I want to say. So I’m starting over…

Last Sunday morning I received a phone call from someone who rarely calls me on the phone. One of my uncles was calling to tell me that I need to go find my Mom (she was still at church) and drive over to one of my aunt’s houses because she had died during the night. “Wait, what? Are you sure? That doesn’t make any sense.” So many emotions. My aunt fought a long battle with cancer (30 years) and had just recently been told her cancer was in remission and she wouldn’t have to do chemo for awhile. Over the weekend, however, she developed a stomach virus that ultimately was too much for her chemo-weakened body to handle. She died peacefully in her sleep last Saturday. She was one of the strongest women I have ever known, she went through so much during her short time on Earth. I smile when I think of her being reunited with my Grandpa up in Heaven, they were always so close. 

Since that Sunday afternoon, I have spent almost every free moment with family, including extended family who traveled to Arkansas last week. You never want something like this to happen, but I have to trust in God and believe He has a plan. While it doesn’t make sense to me why he would take her so young, considering her son is 16 and REALLY needs her, I still have faith. I’m blessed with a family that is strong and faithful and we are leaning on each other to get through this most difficult time.
In my earlier written post, I vented quite a bit about my aunt’s other child, her daughter. But I decided against that, because it’s not necessary. While I don’t agree with her actions, I don’t really know what’s going on in her head or how she’s handling this, and so I can’t judge her. Let’s just say it was an exhausting week with her. It saddens me to think she didn’t realize how devout of a Catholic her Mom was, as evidenced by her typical response during planning of the funeral and rosary: “My Mom wouldn’t have wanted that.” But I can’t dwell on that, I have to move forward, and try to appreciate each day I have.
On Saturday, we decided to take my Grandma up to the farm, since that’s one of her favorite things to do. And we thought it would be a good distraction for her from everything. We packed up some sammies and chips and these weird cookies my uncle brought from England and headed off. The boys shot guns while the girls visited the daffodil hill nearby. I took a bunch of pictures with my camera, but I haven’t had a chance to upload them yet, so those will come later. For now, I’ll leave you with two from my iPhone:

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